Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Success is as dangerous as failure,
and we are often our own worst enemy.

What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?
He who is superior is also someone’s subordinate.
Receiving favor and losing it both cause alarm.
That is what is meant by success is as dangerous as failure.
What does it mean that we are often our own worst enemy?
The reason I have an enemy is because I have a “self”.
If I no longer had a “self”, I would no longer have an enemy.

Love the whole world as if it were your self;
then you will truly care for all things.

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“Success is as dangerous as failure,and we are often our own worst enemy.”

The above quote couldn’t be more true. How often do we observe in history the best talented generals rush themselves to ruinous choices or tactical mistakes because of their ego?

When Ronda Rousey suffered a crushing defeat to Holly Holm, she could not believe that she lost the fight. Not that I think that she did not really think that she could in her wildest imagination lose to somebody. She knew the possibility of losing for sure. But when a loss did really materialize, her ego was on the verge of total breakdown.  She literally wanted to kill herself for a moment. The only thought that dissuaded her from this self-destructive suicidal thought was that she should marry her boyfriend and have his children. She was on a consecutive win streak like no other competitor in her division. This division was meant to be her ruling ground until the day of her voluntary retirement. But all the adulation and hype surrounding her prevented her from contemplating deeply an aftermath of any possible loss. In other words, she failed to be a “Stoic” before that loss. Maybe you think that a fighter has to envision only a glorious outcome of a fight event (as does a self-indoctrinated Conor McGregor) because imagining an opposite scenario would make him feel insecure. Nevertheless, wins and losses are part of our lives (Greene mentions this in the ending strategy chapter the 33 strategies of war). Personally, I am not a fighter and am only a fan of MMA, so I do not know her emotional pain. It would be presumptuous to say that I could understand her feelings. She was an astonishing champion, and I personally believe that her legacy is still intact despite her losses (she lost another championship fight afterwards). But none of that soothed her damaged pride. Many of us would rather want to be a fallen Ronda Rousey than an ordinary person having accomplished nothing. Nevertheless, she had to suffer a devastating pain of accepting the losses.

Although she’s probably emotionally recovered now, her story serves as a reminder for us: our ego can be very fragile because of the whimsical character of our fate. In many cases, our successes are transient and should not think they will last as long as we expect. Holly Holm, who dethroned Ronda Rousey – and was deemed to be a future superstar that would last for a very long time – lost her first title defense fight against Miesha Tate, who had lost two fights against Ronda Rousey.

Repeated successes can blind our sight. If anything, your humility should be based on recognition of this transient nature of your successes and gains and not on condescension. As bantamweight fighter Michael McDonald notes, you own nothing in this universe. This is a very stoic attitude. You think you own your cars, your body, and everything. But you had nothing when you came into the universe. Everything was simply granted to you. You essentially earned nothing by yourself. Are you good-looking? You were simply given your looks from your parents. Did you accumulate wealth working days and nights? Your effort is estimable, but society ultimately gave you your riches. Upon time of your death, they will all be taken away.

If we should take a cautious attitude to our lucky gains, then what are we going to make of our repeated failures? I do not know the answer. In some respect, however, I regard Amy Purdy to be an exemplary case of overcoming one’s misfortune. My admiration for this beautiful woman (both in her charms and mental power) does not stem from my pity for her loss of two legs. Personally, I am not confident that I could recover or even hope to recover as well as she did if I suffered the same accident. She has shown enormous fortitude and courage that not even many ordinary males can show. If we can find one practical role model of Nietzsche’s dictum, “Live your life as a work of art,” I believe that she is the one. If you see her TED talk, she doesn’t by the way look like some firm, determined, grave woman. She is convivial, jolly and optimistic in a “healthy” way.

Greene notes in the preface of the 48 laws of power that a person aspiring to attain power should learn to bide his time because grass will eventually grow if you give it enough time. I can see his point, but I can see the most miserable people in the world that suffer innumerous tragedies without a single good luck happening to them. This is disturbing especially in that while fortune does not allow us luck forever, there are obvious cases of unending pain in several people’s lives.

It is already difficult enough to accept our personal miseries or admit that in many ways we are“inferior” to our friends and acquaintances (especially because of the spread of our private lives through social network services). However, as I indicated in one of the above chapters, it is in principle possible to direct our attention to some of the better things about ourselves and guide our unconscious to change for the better in the long run.

However, overwhelming physical pain due to terminal illnesses, losses of one’s family members, and a lot other factors – these are the things that totally break one’s will to live. Your pain subdues and consumes you. You cannot win this game. You are done. Period. A person suffering ongoing excruciating pains has no room to make conscious efforts to feel good about himself. I do not know what can possibly save him. From an empirical point of view, it is clear that there are no perpetual “successes” in our lives; however, there does exist a series of “failures” that are doomed to continue like curses from God. When Job in the old testament suffered enormous pains in the hands of Satan, he heroically proclaimed that he wouldn’t blame God and said bad things might occur to him just as well as good things did. Nevertheless, if it is certain that, despite all our efforts for a considerably long period of time, certain ones among us will suffer indefinitely with never-ending pains that completely devour them, then the only way out – as much as I regret to say this – may be to tolerate suicide as the last resort. But, most of the suicides that we read on newspaper were mistakes, I believe.