Chapter 61

Chapter 61

A large country should take the low place like a great watershed,
which from its low position assumes the female role.
The female overcomes the male by the power of her position.
Her tranquility gives rise to her humility.

If a large country takes the low position,
it will be able to influence smaller countries.
If smaller countries take the lower position,
then they can allow themselves to be influenced.
So both seek to take the lower position
in order to influence the other, or be influenced.

Large countries should desire to protect and help the people,
and small countries should desire to serve others.
Both large and small countries benefit greatly from humility.

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Ryan Holiday’s book, “The Ego is the Enemy,” is not particularly an inspiring book. However, many of us easily ignore the basic lesson that the book is written based upon. Humility is good for yourself. When Holiday says that our ego is our enemy, I take it that it means that humility will drive away some part of our ego and make things better for us.

The following is what I wrote on the wall for myself to remember:

“Moderate humility based on realism – and not as a virtue to be noticed by others or as a narcissistic means of deprecating oneself – helps me mature and feel fine for myself.”

Genuine humility benefits ourselves in the first place. You have to care less about how others see you. Again, I emphasize, humility based on a realistic estimation of yourself is conducive to the state of your mind and not others’.

If other people realize that you are “spontaneously” humble, they will be naturally drawn to you as indicated in this chapter. But this is simply one byproduct of your practice of humility. In fact, the more you think about whether people are starting to like you because you practice humility, the more difficult it will become for you to be truly humble because you will grow impatient; in this case, you are being artificially humble to attain people’s love. Be humble for your own good. Then, it will help pacify your mind.

If you are resenting someone’s malice or rudeness, your bad feelings may partially fade away if you really think it in a critical perspective and based on a realistic estimation of yourself. In fact, you may be taking too much offense – even if the person that offended you was really an asshole – when others may be able to take it more lightly and go on as if nothing happened.

Nevertheless, the type of humility I am emphasizing here is never a form of subservience.

In addition, if you lower yourself undeservedly, this is merely a form of condescension.

Remember: It is never too late to learn humility (I will say in Robert Greene’s style). In any case where your pride begins to falter because you start to notice your smallness in comparison with your previous times of glory or honor or only good luck, this is a sign that you need to readjust your view of yourself. Furthermore, even when circumstances are turning in your favor and things are starting to get better, you maintain this sense of humility lest you should feel insecure if the luck slips again out of your way. This is an attitude, I believe, that Marcus Aurelius tried to hold on to.

As for practicing humility in international diplomacy, however, I am not so sure. If a superpower repeatedly tolerates bad behaviors of a small country like North Korea, for example, other countries will think the country to be weak. Small countries more often than not need some lessons to be taught. A superpower has to be selective and discreet in terms of showing generosity.